My Life and Thoughts

Dear readers!  I cannot sufficiently thank all those of you who helped get The Possessed onto the Amazon top 100 list and keep it there for the past 4 days!  On Wednesday it rose as high as number 24, which literally made my head explode.  In good news for my head, we’re currently down to 98, close on the heels of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler, author of Are You There God?  It’s Me, Vodka.

For those who would like to give Ms. Handler a run for her money, but are inclined to despondency and thoughts like, “But what can I do to help?”, may I suggest writing a review on Amazon?  Reviews would be particularly welcome from anyone who read the book, or saw a copy of it somewhere, and either (a) liked it, (b) disliked it, or (c) noticed anything about it at all other than its availability on Kindle.At the present time of writing, there are exactly six customer reviews, of which these two have been voted most helpful:

(more…)

Many thanks to all who ordered The Possessed,which has, at the time of writing, edged ahead of the greatest novel ever written to #1 on the Amazon Russian bestsellers list! After a long, hard week, my interns are finally enjoying some R&R.

Enjoy, guys—you deserve it!

(more…)

Auspicious news for my interns just in from Amazon, via an honored reader.   Thank you for your support!

Dear readers!  It took some time, but I finally outsmarted those turkeys and am back at my desk, just in time for the impending release of The Possessed, which you can preorder right now from Amazon for the low, low price of $10.12.  Those with concerns about my interns’ nutritional intake are particularly encouraged you to order from one of the links on this page: that way, thanks to the Amazon Associates program, we get 4% extra per copy.

That means for every copy you buy, we get $0.40: the cost of approximately 1.78 fl. oz. Ensure High Protein Complete Balanced Nutrition Drink!

(more…)

I recently received some back copies of Vice magazine, kindly sent to me by Vice magazine, because I might write something for them. I had never previously read Vice magazine, and although I had heard of it, I had somehow imagined it to be called Vise magazine (as in, “we really know how to grip our public”).

Youthful readers! As you apparently know already, Vice magazine is actually full of pictures of naked girls doing some crazy stuff.  Naked girls in the 2008 fiction issue alone included, but were not limited to: a naked girl running through a supermarket aisle; a naked girl doing cartwheels around a bonfire; and an otherwise-naked girl wearing pasties and a thong made out of pizza. (Apparently it was the model’s own pizza.)

To learn more about Vice magazine, I consulted the Internet, which is famous for its sober and balanced treatment of controversial subjects. There I found the recent Vice magazine interview with Brazilian sculptor Zé Carlos Garcia, who reconstructs pig heads to resemble human faces:

Q. And then you started to turn pigs’ heads into human heads. Do you have any experiences in plastic surgery? It’s completely different to work with flesh, isn’t it?

A. Yes, but as I said, I did sculptures all my life. Also I just love animals, so that wasn’t a big problem.

Sculpture by Zé Carlos Garcia	Photo by Jamie Taete

(more…)