After working hard in my office until relatively late at night, I was walking home and listening to NPR podcasts when I noticed, standing under a streetlamp, what I initially mistook for a motionless child in a snowsuit, and then thought was a snowman, and finally identified, using the ace recognition skills I bring to my work at the New Yorker and elsewhere, as an ithyphallic monument. Here is the video I resourcefully made using my iPod:

I guess it goes to show that, if you put in the hours, you will see results.

Merry Christmas to all my diligent readers!

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  1. Anthony Gatto Says:

    A Christmas miracle? All good things come to those who wait?

    In any case, we won’t ever let them (editors et al.) kill the messenger – call ‘em as you see ‘em!

    Merry Christmas Elif!


  2. Bob Simon Says:

    Will he still be ithyphallic in the Spring?

    Merry Christmas to a writer who is NOT a gray dirt-covered root.

  3. Dev. Kinney Says:

    Give no thanks for a phallic that’s frosty.
    Attachment will be prodigiously costly.
    Should you ever decide you oughta
    The cold damn thing will turn to water.

  4. Dev. Kinney Says:

    Give no thanks for a phallic that’s frosty
    The result will be prodigiously costly.
    If you ever decide you oughta,
    The cold damn thing will turn to water.

    Jason David King

  5. SW Foska Says:

    The question this erection arouses in my head is like the one Benedict Anderson once asked about vernacular literary fictions: for whom?
    Alternatively, with the aid of Vladimir Propp one could find a Cinderella-morphed folktale about the girl who could try it on without it melting (or her freezing).
    Merry Xmas, SWF

  6. Elif Says:

    Many thanks for the kind and imaginative comments! I am still terrified, although also sort of fascinated, by the thought of a Cinderella that size. She would probably really stand out from the rest of humanity.

  7. SW Foska Says:

    Probably to be filed under what Lemuel Gulliver, in relating his encounters with the maids of honour at Brobdingnag, called “many other tricks, wherein the reader will excuse me for not being over particular”.

  8. Alaina Says:

    I read in the NYT this weekend about Moscow protests and Vladmir Putin mistaking the crowd’s white ribbon’s for condoms. Here is a quote from Mr. Putin via

    “To be honest, when I saw on the TV screens what some people had attached to themselves, it’s not very polite, I thought it was an anti-AIDS campaign; I thought that they had stuck condoms on themselves,” Putin said in a televised phone- in show today. “My first thought was it’s okay, they are campaigning for a healthy lifestyle.”

    Long live Ithypallic-ia!

  9. SW Foska Says:

    PS there is also the well-known cinematofictional monster Ginormica, one of the more lucid contemporary allegories of US foreign policy:

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